


Green-Eyed Beauty by Madison

by sgamadison



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-20
Updated: 2010-09-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 01:36:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgamadison/pseuds/sgamadison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It just didn't make any sense to Rodney...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green-Eyed Beauty by Madison

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the McSheplets challenge "Envy"

  
He just didn't get it.

The phrase his sister had so casually tossed out in passing had pricked his flesh like a splinter just under the skin, and had proceeded to fester there. He just couldn't shake it off.

" _You're no John Sheppard_."

Well, what exactly did that mean anyway? Of course he was no John Sheppard. Frankly, he wouldn't want to be. Being John Sheppard would entail making the sorts of frightening decisions regarding all sorts of unfathomable military things and even though there were times when Rodney really wanted to take the military by its collective throat and bash its head repeatedly up against the nearest wall, there was something to be said for its willingness to put itself on the line to protect the civilian contingent of the expedition. And besides, it would mean not being a genius, which he was pretty sure he wouldn't give up for anything, especially if it meant hiding what intelligence you did have behind a wall of nonchalance, as though there were other things more important than being _smart_.

But just like splinter, the thought wouldn't leave him, kept poking at him viciously when he least expected it and he found himself watching the Colonel to try and determine just what Jeannie had meant to imply. Because she definitely had been implying _something_ ; that Sheppard was intrinsically more attractive or that Rodney himself was no catch. That he should grab the opportunity for a life with Katie because nothing better was going to come along. That's what she meant, he was sure of it. He just didn't know _why_.

So he began John-watching. Unobtrusively, of course, because having your subject aware of your scrutiny was sure to alter the test results. He started paying attention to the reactions of others when John was around, noticed for the first time the little flurry of awareness that ran through a group of people when he came into the room, saw how women lit up in his presence and men strove to catch his attention and how everyone seemed to want to be near him, to touch him, to speak with him. He noticed that if the Colonel suggested doing something in their off-time, even Teyla and Ronon were likely to agree to join in and how if John couldn't make it, plans seemed to fizzle through.

He just didn't get it. It wasn't fair.

Rodney was ruminating blindly on the unfairness of this whole concept when he felt a hand grab him by the shirt and haul him bodily into a storage unit. Rodney took a few stumbling steps behind Sheppard into the room, only to stop when John turned and released him. The lights came up as they entered; the sort of half-power that most of the storage facilities used to save energy unless programmed otherwise.

"You want to tell me what's up?" Sheppard drawled. Not the friendly drawl; the one that said you were skating on thin ice and you'd better not be trying to bullshit him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rodney said bravely, lifting his chin.

"Cut the crap, McKay." Sheppard looked a little peeved, even as he leaned back against some large packing crates with a studied nonchalance. "You've been following me around like a hall monitor. I get the feeling I'm absent without leave or something. What gives?"

"If you _must_ know," Rodney found himself saying inexplicably, "I've been trying to figure out the secret of your magnetic charm."

"My what?" Sheppard wasn't expecting that at least, Rodney noted with a smirk.

"Your charm. Your inherent attractiveness. Whatever. Tell me, Colonel. Must you make a pilgrimage to the Blarney Stone every year to renew your gifts or was once enough? Or did your fairy godmother deed you with the power of attraction at your christening?" Rodney folded his arms across his chest, just getting warmed up as Sheppard began to look more and more uncomfortable.

"What are you blathering about, McKay?" The unspoken now was clearly heard between them.

It pissed Rodney off. "You. You." He flapped a hand in Sheppard's direction. "I've been trying to figure out what makes you so impossibly desirable and it's been driving me nuts, because let me tell you the sum parts do not add up to the whole and that is not only blatantly unfair, but it _makes no sense_ either."

"I..uh, what?" Sheppard looked confused and god help him, that only made things worse.

"Take for example," Rodney delivered in best lecture mode, "your appearance. It simply does not make sense. Okay, for starters, you have the oddest shaped ears _ever_ , your clothes never seem to fit you properly—always bunching up at the elbows or ankles—you are disproportionately long through the torso and you always look as though you are at least a day overdue for a shave even if you last shaved three hours ago."

John looked down at himself and then back up at Rodney, an odd expression on his face.

"Don't get me started on your hair," Rodney continued, on a roll now, "because the amount of attention that your hair receives borders on the _ludicrous_ and for gods sake, it's only hair. Everyone has some and everyone, and I mean _everyone_ eventually loses theirs. And your eyes...well, when you get too tired, you get bags under them and they are the color of a muddy pond, so why everyone waxes poetical over your _hazel_ eyes is beyond me...and you can't stand up straight to save your life."

"Are you done yet?" Sheppard said shortly.

"No! No, I'm not," Rodney's hands waved about in exasperation. "That's just it. Empirically, this should not add up to a picture of hotness, but it _does_ , and that's the part that I can't figure out. That somehow all these odd components should en masse exceed expectations and result in a package that makes women titter in your presence and men want your approval."

Sheppard had started to say something during the tirade, but subsided until Rodney finished his rant. "Um, mind telling me what brought this on?" he asked at last.

"Jeannie implied that I should ask Katie to marry me, because I wasn't likely to get a better offer. Because I was 'no John Sheppard'." He made finger quotes here.

Sheppard at least had the grace to wince on his behalf. "I'm no genius," he said at last, slowly and deliberately, "but that seems like a pretty stupid reason to ask someone to marry them."

"Yes!" Rodney was triumphant. "My thoughts exactly!"

"And she's wrong you know, about your not being a good catch."

"Really?" Rodney blinked before his ego kicked in. "Well, of _course_ she's wrong. That goes without saying. Um, how exactly is she wrong?"

John's lips tweaked into his trademark half-smile and Rodney reminded himself he needed to add that to the list of things he hated about John Sheppard as well. "Well, anyone with half an eye," and here Rodney shot John the ' _oh thanks_ ' look, "can see that your uh, component parts aren't anything to sneeze at either."

"They're not?" Rodney was nonplussed. Was Sheppard actually _complimenting_ him?

"Well, yeah." John's smile suddenly got lazy, and Rodney became aware of how warm it was in the little closet. "I mean, just look at you. You've got the most amazing hands, especially when they're in motion. I bet you were a better pianist than your teacher ever gave you credit for. And there's nothing muddy about your eyes, you only see that kind of blue on a clear day at altitude." John was moving towards him now in a feline, predatory way. "And you fill out your clothes just fine. You should wear t-shirts more often. As a matter of fact, I could watch you crawl under consoles all day long, 'cause the view from the rear is...kinda hot."

He seemed to catch himself suddenly and changed demeanor, withdrawing without actually physically stepping back. "So, don't let Jeannie get to you. If you want to marry Katie, then ask her to marry you. But only because you really _want_ to marry her."

"I've been hoping for a better offer," Rodney blurted out.

  
"Really?" The drawl was back, but this time it sent a curl of heat straight to Rodney's cock. John reached out for his shirt and grasped it again, pulling Rodney towards him. "Then this is your lucky day."

~fin~

  



End file.
